♥ vampire diaries

"i met a boy,

we talked

and it was epic.

but then the sun came up and reality set in."

dont let the fear of striking out hold you back.

"You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing,

you'll stop at the first giant hurdle."

Its going to be my year.

I feel better now. Knowing when my next race is.

It was a tough week for me.

Not knowing what comes next.

not quite sure what i was training for.

Im scared to make to big of a call at this point in time what i have in me.

i'll dwell on my limitations for a few days more before i let the world know what i want.

its scary to think i can run these times.

never in my wildest dreams did i ever think it possible.

i was always the kid who tried her best but never really got anywhere.

so i guess deep down, regardless of the times im running, i still feel like im really not any good. which is the dumbest thing ever. I lie to myself alot, trying to convince myself i am good enough. but i guess it'll take a while to sink in. Its hard to think im good when no one else really rates me.

But who cares what others think?

Times dont lie.

and ive worked damn hard for this.

Dont Let It Pass You By.

Its amazing what we, as people and as athletes are truly capable of.

Over the last year i have been told over and over and over again that i cannot do it.

That i cant run a B-qualifier.

That i cant PB by that much in one season.

That i just cant do it.

It's Impossible.

But i believe in myself, when no one else did, i believed so purely and worked so hard that massive impossible achievements became possible.

Looking back now, i remember i was asked by a certain coach, "why not aim higher?"

I scoffed at the thought.

Higher? Thats absurd, Im already aiming for something beyond anyones capabilities and expectations.

Im already aiming for the impossible.

And he wanted more.

I thought, 'how unrealistic is that?'

i even remember wondering if he was taking the piss.

But it wasnt until today that i realised.

An A-qualifier is very very possible.

and i began to realise, that someone like me,

with unwavering believe

with daring impossible dreams

i began to realise i hadnt set the bar high enough

i am no different to everyone else

and there was a limit to my own belief

i had resigned myself to only a B.

i had put walls up infront of me

and i had shot myself in the foot.

I like to believe that i know what im capable of,

but i, just like everyone else, have no idea whats within me.

maybe the truth is my capabilities are endless.

maybe i could conquer the world, if only i believed i could.

my friends ask me all the time: "Do you think you'll ever win an olympic medal"

i laugh and tell them, "im not talent, just hard work, and hard work will only get you so far"

but who's to say im not talented.

who's to say one day i wont win a medal.

who's to say what i can and cant do.

i'd like to think that I have fought a good fight, I have kept the faith.

but i havent.

i am limited in my success because i was trying to be "realistic"

but again, my body knows only the boundaries of the mind.

not anymore.

"you have to think anyways,

so why not think big!"

Spikes On.

The next time i put the spikes on, it will be to race.

"You cant parcel out freedom in pieces.

Freedom is all or nothing."

One of the best male sprinters ever.

ATO BOLDON

Ato is one of the best male sprint performers in the world with 4 Olympic sprint medals to his name. He was in the controversial World Championships semi-final in 2003 where Jon Drummond made his epic "i did not move" protest.

He has been a hero of mine since Atlanta 1996 where he got two bronze medals in both the 100m and 200m. then backing it up at the World Champs the following year taking out Gold in the 200m. The 2000 Sydney Olympics rolled around and he finished 2nd behind Mo Greene before adding another Olympic Bronze to his collection in the 200m.

Last night, i had the great privilege and once in a lifetime opportunity to have a training session with the man himself.

He gave me a one on one training session in the blocks. taught me all the tricks of the trade. Shared experiences. Renewed Confidence. He is an amazing person. One of the nicest blokes ever as well. i will remember and cherish that moment for the rest of my life.

and the skills i developed last night will provide me with a bright future.

He truly is one of the best athletes ever.

"To become Usain Bolt or Steve Hooker or whoever you want to be, you need to...stop only talking about getting out there and actually do it."

"Talking about being talented and wanting to become the next big thing is not going to get the job done." - Ato Boldon ♥

Sweet Relief

Today, i feel happier.

For the first time in a long time.

Ive been putting myself under so much pressure that ive actually made myself sick with stress.

With a week to go, i know that if im not ready now ill never be, and the stress has left and all thats left to do is run.

really really really fast.

Out from the darkness into the light.

There are two types of people in this world.

Those that let things just happen to them.

and those that make things happen.

Unfortunately, the past 6 months i have been just let things happen.

This season has been such an adventure. And ive just been hanging on for the ride.

Id hate to say it, but this season was easy. not easy in the sense that i didnt have to work hard. but easy in the way that im not working any harder then usual yet every time i hit the track im getting a PB. Its both a blessing and a curse. Its good that all the hard work over the last 16 years is finally paying off but now im used to things just happening. im used to being given the win. given the PB. but i dont think Nationals is going to be so easy. Its definitely mine for the taking, as long as i rise to the challenge.

Its time to make this happen.

Who are you to judge?

People often think that I'm not good enough.

Not fast enough.

Not strong enough.

Not talented enough.

Well ive got something to tell you. Who are you to judge me? You dont see how hard I train or how much weight i lift in the gyms. You dont see how much of my entire soul goes into this. You dont see my bad training days that often end in tears and you dont see my good days either. You have no idea about my training regime or how dedicated I am. You dont know me. Or how much I deserve this && who are you to tell me i dont?

You dont know how much i need this. You dont know my story or how ive worked for this every single day of my life. you have no idea what i'm capable of. I know whats within me, even if you cant see it;

yet.

I will show you how great i am.

The Greatest

All or Nothing.

Well it's real simple:You've got one more major comp, and thats it.

For those who've known me for awhile, and for a long time now you've been hearing me talk about being perfect. Well I want you to understand something. To me, being perfect is not about the times that you run out there. It's not about winning. It's about you and your relationship to yourself. Being perfect is about being able to look yourself in the eye and know that you didn't let yourself down, because you told the truth. && that truth is that you did everything that you could.

There wasn't one more thing that you could've done.

I don’t know what to say, really. 12 days til the biggest battle of my professional life. All comes down to one day, the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a foot too late or too early and you don't quite clear it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite make it out of the blocks.

The years of training and sacrifice is all i can hold onto on that line. Its the only thing i can depend on && i have to trust that i have done more work then the others.

Train hard, win easy

"Let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith"

- Hebrews 12: 1-2

All Talk

Some athletes are all talk.

Some talk about hard work.

Some talk about winning

And some talk about achieving greatness.

Some talk themselves up.

While some may talk others down.

There is so much talk going on in a sport that needs nothing but your feet.

The athletes with the biggest mouths happen to be the people with the smallest achievements. And it sad really, thinking there words will change something.

In a sport where mental strength is as strong as physical strength, i get there urge to try and infiltrate there minds, but we're not 12 anymore. && it'll take more then that to knock me down.

I'll let my feet do the talking.

April.

My greatest works of art and sabotage seem to begin in April. April=National Champs and start of the offseason. April, for me anyway, signifies a new beginning - a fresh start. Like the phoenix, I will rise again from the ashes. Perhaps this is the start of a new era. I have a million song lyrics dancing though my head right now and all my body wants is sleep. But sleep is not in sight. My mind will not rest. I want adventure. I want to get lost in the woods like Thoreau, wandering along some ancient stream bed, carelessly finding my way through underbrush. I don't want to worry about finding my way back. Let each bend in the river open up new avenues of sight. Bring new peace of mind and heart. To wake, perchance to dream.