friends
are
just
enemies
who
dont
have
enough
guts
to
kill you.

&& 5 months later

i spent so much time over the last two years training?
and why?
to make the olympics,
to make commonwealth games
to win medals
to break records

sure, for those reason.
but i spent all that time doing it because i wanted credit.
fame.
to feel that in some way my life isn't as shit as everyone else's.
to feel important.

careful what you wish for coz you just might get it.

since returning from WUG and after a couple of nationwide radio interviews,
i have had so many emails of people wanting me in the companies, as guest speakers and all sorts of other SHIT.
after all, isn't this what i wanted?
to feel important.
fuck i hate it.

guess what dick faces, i haven't made the olympics yet.
guess what dick faces, i deferred uni to focus on running and not so i have more time for your shit

so my uni, who didn't give me a cent for china but paid the way for a student to go as MANAGEMENT now want me to share my experience as guest speaker at a fancy dinner
guess what dick faces, I'm vegan, good luck catering for that.
not to mention they assumed id do it
i NEVER NOT ONCE agreed to do it
not to mention, i have to go alone

yeah good work guys, i can't function in social situations,
i have epic shyness, good luck getting me in front of people talking
stutter stutter stutter no sense

are you fucking kidding me

god, fuck, i hate this shit.

when did i become such a push over
i dont wanna be a nice person
or famous
or important

i just wanna run

so fuck off and let me do that.

We all want respect,

You want it from your teammates, from the fans

You want it from other players

There’s a million ways to get respect

But there is only one way to get the kind of respect that’s undeniable

The kind they can never take away from you

win

&& i want that feeling
so badly.
to know it was all worth it
to know all the hard work has paid off
to know no one can take it off me

There is no terror in the bang, 

only in the anticipation of it

what we never were after all

In every single thing you do, 

you are choosing a direction, 

your life is a product of choices

from the ashes

while its all fine and dandy to take a break from something
at some point in time you must pick up the pieces and go again

failure is nothing more then a shadow of opportunity
a test
a chance to start over
this time more diligently
more courageously

but if you always do what you've always done
you'll always get what you've always got

now is the time to risk it
chase the fear away so far you cant even remember why you were so scared
remember what you've done
where you've come from and more importantly
where you are going

&& if nothing else
remember why
why you've made this journey
this is not the end of this map
we're not finished just yet

remember where this journey ends.

limitless

motivation isnt something that can be handed to you
it isnt something that can be bought or sold
you cant even make the conscious decision to be more motivated

motivation comes from within
way deep down in the depths of your soul

being motivated is all about knowing what you want
&& BELIEVING in your ability to achieve it
its difficult to have motivation without purpose

setting goals and to want to achieve is one thing
but you must be willing to chase after them in an unstoppable manner
you must want to achieve them
&& i mean really want them, more than anything
be willing to do ANYTHING

but the first thing you have to do is start believing in yourself again

when there's nothing left inside of you, you must continue
otherwise you've done nothing more then waste everyones time

I am here for a purpose && that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth i will apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all &&
I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy

the only thing that matters now,
is what you do next.