&& 5 months later

i spent so much time over the last two years training?
and why?
to make the olympics,
to make commonwealth games
to win medals
to break records

sure, for those reason.
but i spent all that time doing it because i wanted credit.
fame.
to feel that in some way my life isn't as shit as everyone else's.
to feel important.

careful what you wish for coz you just might get it.

since returning from WUG and after a couple of nationwide radio interviews,
i have had so many emails of people wanting me in the companies, as guest speakers and all sorts of other SHIT.
after all, isn't this what i wanted?
to feel important.
fuck i hate it.

guess what dick faces, i haven't made the olympics yet.
guess what dick faces, i deferred uni to focus on running and not so i have more time for your shit

so my uni, who didn't give me a cent for china but paid the way for a student to go as MANAGEMENT now want me to share my experience as guest speaker at a fancy dinner
guess what dick faces, I'm vegan, good luck catering for that.
not to mention they assumed id do it
i NEVER NOT ONCE agreed to do it
not to mention, i have to go alone

yeah good work guys, i can't function in social situations,
i have epic shyness, good luck getting me in front of people talking
stutter stutter stutter no sense

are you fucking kidding me

god, fuck, i hate this shit.

when did i become such a push over
i dont wanna be a nice person
or famous
or important

i just wanna run

so fuck off and let me do that.